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Re-Review: Star Trek Beyond

Alright, it seems like the reception of this film was much higher than expected which was quite surprising.

I decided to give it a watch again but this time in the “methods” network cuz I ain’t wasting my money the 2nd time on this shit.

Now after seeing it the 2nd time, there’s a review on Roger Ebert’s website, written by someone else obviously, that pretty much summed up my thoughts.

Yes, there’s a promising setup (the Enterprise crew is held hostage by a vicious bad guy who rules a backwater planet a la Kurtz in “Heart of Darkness”). And there are suggestions of classic “Star Trek” style action-plus-characterization-plus-cleverness, and pleasing performances by a cast that has settled into each others’ rhythms, as a real-world naval crew would after years of sailing together.

But the movie never delivers on its considerable promise because it’s always in such a hurry to get to the next action scene.

Star Trek Beyond? More like Star Trek BEGONE!

Compared to my first viewing, my impressions only got WORSE. My initial opinion still stands, however there’s more flaws I noticed on both the technical and the writing. I realized this is another revenge flick considering Into Dumbness was also based on that. The entire middle (snooze) act where the crew was separated had so much back and forth with the scenes cutting to the next separated crew members that there was really no real character moments where I was invested in. The scene with Spock feeling sad for his future self’s death was awkward as hell. The villain’s motivation, which is unbelievably stupid, reveals way too late and too rushed. There’s no remorse for this guy because he’s the bad guy. That’s it. The enterprise getting destroyed AGAIN throughout the trilogy. This one’s rather minor but Sulu portrayed as a gay was unnecessary since he was never gay to begin with in the originals. It was more of a tribute to George Takai. The ONLY thing I liked about the movie was the beginning where the enterprise was traveling in uncharted territories in space, now that’s true to the franchise’s core.

So yes, this movie still sucks. To be honest, I don’t mind if Star Trek takes the action packed route of a film as long as it’s decently written, but the fundamentals of the franchise have to be there. Where’s the build up to the next major scenes or character moments? It’s like watching porn where a dude and a chick undress and immediately cuts to a scene where they’ve already reached the climax without any fucking motion. This movie has so many damn plot holes that it’s an insult to the franchise and my intelligence. Just because it’s science fiction genre doesn’t justify majors plot holes, just putting that out there.

In the end, I wondered, “What’s the point of this movie?” I can’t wait to see HISHE‘s take on this.

New Rating: 2/10

Want a mindless shallow Fast & Furious-type movie in space? This is for you.

Categories: movies, review
  1. doctoravocado
    August 18, 2016 at 10:47 pm

    If I were writing the HISHE, I’d either have it end with them zooming away instead of watching the drones approach for a good minute. Or have Keenser sneeze his acid goo into Krall’s face.

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